So, here’s the deal: Getting married is not easy.
First, apparently you have to explain the why to everybody. Then, the why in a church. And then, plan it.
Trust me, we don’t want anything special. We don’t want to rent a car and drown it in ribbon. We won’t serve food with names longer than our own. We won’t spend 33453465,6534987€ on a photographer, or a DJ, or anything. We won’t have white invitations with golden rings and a heart embossed. And that’s why it’s SO DIFFICULT to plan the wedding.
Example of a conversation with someone’s family member (not giving names here!)
SOMEONE: So, I know about a florist who makes these beautiful arrangements with candles and roses and they’re only about 30€ each.
ME: Don’t we put food on the table? I didn’t think of the centerpieces, but maybe you’re right… we should put something there. We’ll think about it.
SOMEONE: Ok, think about it.2 days later…
SOMEONE: Have you decided on the flowers?
ME: What flowers?
SOMEONE: The centerpieces.
ME: Oh! Yes! We’re so excited! We’ve had the best idea ever! We’re going to collect old wine bottles and cut them and turn them into vases and then the day before we’ll get some pretty flowers off the forest and put them there! Don’t you love it?
SOMEONE: Go get your brain checked.
See? It’s really hard. We’re making our own invitations, and they’ll be hand-stamped and they’ll include jokes. If I had a cent for each time I’ve heard “But they won’t look nice, they’ll look like a kid made them, it’s not formal enough!”.
The cake toppers. “We want R2D2 and C3P0 there”. “You should put something romantic, like two little birds”. “But we’re dressing them with a veil and a bow tie!”
The food. “You should serve at least 5 courses”. “We’re having a rice buffet with different kinds of paella so all the people coming from abroad can taste some typical food”. “All that people coming from abroad will think you’re cheap and ungrateful”.
The registry. “You need a registry. People won’t want to give you money, they’ll prefer to buy you something”. “I live in a 60 sq meter apartment and have everything I need or want. Unless I put CDs or DVDs or books in the registry, I won’t do it.” “But you have to”. “Wait. How about people buy me food for a couple of years? That’d be neat!”
Up until there, it was quite easy to just ignore the comments because Eric and I were on the same boat. But then came the time to choose music. We’re planning on having our iPod be the DJ (he gave us a good quote and is willing to work extra hours for free, what could we do). We decided to start making playlists now because we knew it would be tricky to choose music for so many hours. And we both instantly knew there was no way we could pull off playing the music we tend to listen to every day at the wedding. See, Eric is quite the perfect guy in most ways, but he listens to Metal music. That’s his biggest flaw. In the recent years my taste has changed quite a bit and right now most of what I listen to has the label “indie” somewhere in it. Is not that we can’t play metal at the wedding (well, actually, we can’t. The bride would die) or indie (it would be goooood!) but that we hate each other’s taste in music. So we had to come up with a plan. And the plan resulted in us choosing music that we would like to listen to AND that the guests would like to listen to. After all, the party is for everybody, otherwise we wouldn’t have invited anyone. So, right now the playlist is chockfull of Beatles, Rolling Stones, Jerry Lee Lewis and the Beach Boys. Oh, and Queen. But this is a lot harder than we thought! At least our parents will know each and every song, though.
No sé si vos servirà de consolament, però a mi m’encanten tots els plans per a la vostra boda! (I no vos estic fent la pilota, que ja sabeu que ho pense de veritat
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Ooo Gracia! You must not worry about what you’re SUPPOSED TO DO and just roll with whatever you WANT TO DO. You have perfectly clever, thoughtful and UNIQUE tastes. Anyone who begrudges you the freedom to express these tastes has their head up their ass. If want R2D2 and C3PO on the cake, by all means, go for it and add an Ewok for good measure.
Music is hard. Really, really hard. Especially when it comes to picking “your song.” I know very few people who have “songs.” I don’t know about you, but I haven’t assigned a song to a relationship since 8th grade.
All your wedding details sound ADORABLE to me.
I know exactly how you’re feeling. My future-mother-in-law wants us to have her sisters (who do wedding planning type stuff for a living) design the entire reception. We aren’t close to them at all, and I think they will expect to be paid. Totally not happening.
Weddings are stressful. Good luck.
Oh my goodness, it’s like you snuck into my wedding planning and wrote it down. Seriously.
We were married in my parents’ front yard (why not in a sanctuary? don’t you want a blessing?) by my uncle (NOT A PRIEST? well have you thought about the rabbi?) and had the reception a few minutes away. We’d have done it at the house, but it’s a septic system. We used watering cans and filled them with daisies for the centerpieces, and handed out packs of seeds in our thank-yous (they were supposed to be favors, but we forgot about them on the day of) (also, Donald forgot his socks) (and I forgot my bouquet). It was simple, cheap, and easy.
But people never GOT IT, you know? AIYIYIYIYIYI!
Good luck!
Also, on the song note, we decided to play the wedding songs of our siblings to have a whole family tie-in. My in-laws literally racked their brains adn couldn’t remember what they danced to. So. Yeah. I totally thought it was weird at the time, but you know what? I can’t remember what I danced to half the time either.
So there’s that.
Take heart, the wedding planning is not actually hard in the long run. Just tell people, “That sounds great, you should do that at your wedding.” and then stare at them silently, no matter what they say next. (Trust me. They take the hint after about the third time this happens to them.) Follow your own heart and your wedding with be your perfect. It is your day. Claim it.
Other things to mentally prepare yourself for: 1. Someone asks you when you are going to start having kids while you are still dancing at your reception. 2. Writing thank you notes for all the stuff you got that you don’t know what to do with or don’t want.
Hey! Got to your blog through your comment on mine. Your wedding sounds like it’s going to be amazing and origional (those are the ones people remember, not the fancy bazzilion euro wedding). You just have to ignore all those people asking you rediculious question, ’cause Cathryn’s right. They’ll just move on to different topics like children before you’ve even finished dancing. By the way, I think the old wine bottle centerpiece idea is absoultly genious.